The internet exploded on Monday after reports emerged that Jeffrey Toobin, a New Yorker staff writer and longtime CNN analyst, was suspending by the magazine after he allegedly masturbated during a Zoom call.
Citing two sources “who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely,” Vice said “it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin” masturbating during an “election simulation.”
“The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes,” Vice wrote. “At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.”
Stimulation? Oh, simulation.
Of course, the wags on Twitter grabbed the story and beat it hard.
“Another sad casualty of the shutdown,” conservative columnist Ann Coulter wrote.
“Poor Jeff Toobin is going to have to cure cancer and invent time travel to keep the words ‘Zoom’ and ‘d*ck’ out of his obituary,” wrote Rolling Stone contributing editor Matt Taibi.
Journalist Sasha Issenberg offered a still shot from the movie “There’s Something About Mary.” If you know the scene, you’ll get the joke.
Even O.J. Simpson, who was acquitted on charges of killing his wife, got in on the act. Toobin covered Simpson trial for the magazine in the 1990s and turned his coverage into a book, which was used by FX to create “The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story’’ in 2016, which drew praise from TV critics.
“Damn, Jeffrey Toobin. At least Pee Wee Herman was in an X-rated movie theater. I’m just saying,” Simpson said.
— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) October 20, 2020
Toobin on Monday said it was all an accident. “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” he said in a statement to Vice.
“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.
New Yorker spokesman Natalie Raabe told Vice: “Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter.” CNN also said in a statement: “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.
Author: Joseph Curl